Relationship history..

Ok, brace yourselves. Pure honesty is coming up.

I had a boyfriend for about 2 years between 15-17 years which consisted of 2 years of destructive behavior, violence, and hurt, so I chose not to count that as a love experience at all.

I met my first love when I was 19. We met through a friend of mine, and none of us thought it would ever lead anywhere but it did. And through the course of one year, we grew in love with each other and to be honest, he is and will forever be the one that got away.
We broke up because I decided to travel the world, not because we did not have any love left.
And yes, this is 10 years ago.

After him, I have had 2 other relationships, one which lasted a little over a year and the latest was over a 2 year period. But looking back on those 2 relationships, I wasn't happy. I doubt I was even in love? Or no, I was. With the latest one.

But in between those two, and after the last relationship I had, (which is 4 years ago) I have dated. And dated. And dated. But never met the right person. There's always something that's off with the guys I meet.
I am a hopeless romantic and I expect the perfect guy to come in to my life when the time is right, and I believe that you will  k n o w that it's the right one. You won't have doubts. And trust me, I have had doubts with every single guy I have dated these last 4 years, which is probably why it never works out. Because I can't picture them in my future for real, and that makes me uncertain, and I don't give anyone 100% of myself, and I don't nurture it with positive thoughts.


I do believe I learn something from every person I meet though, and that they come in to my life for a reason.
There's no particular reason for me to write this today, I have not lost hope or anything like that, don't worry. I am more excited than ever to find out who will be able to steal this heart of mine and keep it.


I am leaving California tomorrow, and I am leaving these 11 weeks behind me once and for all. Because even though you learn through rough times, you still have to forget and leave it behind in order for it to not weigh you down.

When I come back here on April 4th, I will be filled with new energy, ready to finish 2 more quarters and graduate with my head held higher than ever, with so many life lessons in my bag, and I will be ready to decide if my future is in the U.S. or in Sweden.