Be your own best friend

Today in my mindfulness class, we did a guided meditation and I met myself. This sounds so weird and super crazy to people who don't believe in spirituality, but I met myself. It was like seeing myself from the outside for the very first time, and I walked right up to myself and gave me the biggest hug, and told myself, I love you. I hugged myself and held myself for a minute or so. Freaky, I know.

Today is the very last day of my "twenty something" days. Looking back on these 10 years since I turned 20 has been a blast today. I've learned amazing lessons in life! I have done so much! All the countries I've seen, all the people I've met, all the let downs, the love, the craziness, the jobs I've had, the studying...
Plus, I am extremely grounded in myself now. I know all my qualities and all my flaws. I wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes, and that's a part of me.
I have complained about my flaws a lot and I have been wanting to change myself in some areas, but today as I was sitting in class, I was just like..I need to just accept every single thing about myself, just as much as I need to accept every single thing about other people. That is the only way. Because truth is; everyone has flaws. E v e r y o n e.

I need to understand that not everyone will get me. I don't get everyone. I get surprised still when I discover sides that I never would have thought existed in people I know, but that's ok.  I'm not the one to judge because I'm clearly not perfect either. Things happen for a reason, and I have become an expert on connecting the dots in my life that has led me to making choices. It's super fascinating.

I'm the type of person that get really excited when I learn new things, and how you can grow as a human being. I want to share it with everyone, but not everyone will be as inspired or believe in the things I believe in. I have found that to be frustrating in the past, because to me, it seems so boring to live a life where you don't believe in anything.

I have discovered now though, that all I need to do is focus on myself. I'm grateful for my beliefs, and I'm so so so happy to be me. My main goal in life is to be happy like everyone else. To love and accept myself completely. Because, when you really think about it, all you have is yourself. Even if you are in a relationship, you still need to be completely grounded, independent, and accepting of the person you really are. Because another person can never complete you. You complete you, another person can lift you, but not complete you.

As I close the chapter of twenty something, I couldn't be happier. I've learned lessons up until this very last day, and I look forward to the next chapter in life, because I plan to live it with tons of compassion for others, but most importantly; with compassion for myself. I am my own best friend.

Happy last day as a twenty something to me!

Sweet uncertainty

My favorite class this quarter is without a doubt my mindfulness class. Since we start and end the class with meditation, I'm in a state of being completely open and able to take all the information in, and it is incredibly though-provacitive.

I find myself questioning things I've believed in the past, and it is really fascinating. I'm actually really grateful for the fact that I'm not small-minded, I have always been able to absorb and take in new views on life. I see my mind as an open space that collects inspiration and wisdom and I will continue my entire life.



We discussed uncertainty yesterday, and my teacher asked if anyone in the class is completely comfortable with uncertainty. He said it's really scary for a lot of people, and most of us seek some form of validation even though we know that nothing in life is certain.

I had to throw in a comment because I have a way of coping with it. Instead of seeing the unknown as something scary and plant scenarios I know nothing about, I have started to change my view. I told the class that I feel excited instead. I have no idea what I will do in Sweden for example, where I'll live, what kind of job I'll get, what new people I will meet, but that's not scary it's insanely exciting! I don't even know what I will do this afternoon, and literally anything can happen. One girl in the class just sat with an open mouth and said; "I have never thought of it that way in my entire life".

Basically everything in life comes from within, because your perception decide how you deal with what life gives you. It's your mind, your thoughts, and you are in charge. My teacher told us that when anxiety comes along for example, you need to notice it right away, visualize yourself looking at it outside of your body and just tell it "You're not in control of me, I am".

I have a very strong belief that our minds are our greatest asset but also our most hostile enemy if we don't use it right, and that can scare the hell out of me. I think of the amazing capacity of our minds and how much potential that lies in every single human being, but how so many people live their lives on autopilot and stay in a small-minded "I know everything already" state of mind their entire lives because they don't understand the astonishing power of our mind.

I want to see the world as a beautiful place, so I will focus on staying excited about uncertainty instead of trying to find validation and certainty. Because I can rely on my own capacity of feeling happy and excited, but I can never rely on validation because one of the greatest truth in life is that nothing can be taken for granted.