It's the very first step I'm taking towards the dream of eventually lecture on different subjects in the future. The first practice will be tomorrow on one particular subject.
It's a strange thing, when you really want to do something, but it scares you. You want it so bad, and you know that it will help you develop, but you're scared of it and what might go wrong. It got me thinking about fear. Fear is something we should look at a bit differently.
Fear can be something we feel when we are about to enter or do something that has value to us. Right now, before my speech in front of 85 people tomorrow, I'm scared and worried about how people will see me afterwards. It means that what I'm about to do is very important to me.
We all know the feeling we get when we have done something we were initially nervous or scared of. It's indescribable. It's a sense of relief and we are so proud of ourselves. We also know the feeling we get when we back out of something we really want, out of fear. That disappointment is heavy.
Fear is fuel. Ride on it. Let it guide you. Challenge yourself, meet the fear and stare it in the eyes, or you will be stuck in the same patterns.
It's whats out of your comfort zone that will make you grow and learn about life and yourself. My all time favorite quote is "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone".
Me and a very dear new friend have been talking about the "opposite method" lately. When you out of habit feel, do, or react to something just because it's the way its always been for you, it might not be the best way to approach the situation. If you know within that what your habit tells you to do might hurt the person or the situation, try to do something different. If you feel mistreated and you automatically blame the other person and want to withdraw or say something hurtful, try to take a step back, reevaluate, and tell the person how much you care and what happened inside you when you felt mistreated. It will surely be weird and feel unnatural, but look at what will happen.
That is not the case though. Because no situation is the exact same as something you went through in the past. It's impossible, because everyone and every situation is unique.
It saddens me that we let our past run our lives and I wish I had the strength to break every single bad behavior pattern I've ever created, but it's extremely hard. I'm just very thankful for the fact that I'm aware, and I have managed to change the direction of my thoughts and actions toward different situations many times.
Life for me is about learning and to stay on track towards becoming a better and better version of myself all the time. I have my moments, when I feel like I've lost everything I've ever learned and feel like I'm back on square one, and I just have to deal with it and that it's ok. Because I know that within an hour or a day, I'll be back on track. It's a never ending progress, and it's a choice.
I really believe that most things in life are based on choices. Chose to be productive instead of seeing all the shit you have to do and be stressed out. Chose to take a walk and get some exercise instead of taking the car. Chose to be grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have. Chose to believe in the good instead of thinking of all the craziness in the world. Chose to nurture your relationships instead of looking for faults. Chose your partner every morning. Chose to love yourself instead of seeing the flaws. Chose to speak kindly, instead of blaming others.
This post turned out longer than I had planned. It might just be a bunch of blabbing, I honestly haven't even read
through it now that I'm posting. It's straight from the heart on this Sunday night.
