Double happiness

Like all of you know by now, I'm fascinated by the brain.

When I was 17, the only thing about school that was fun, was psychology and philosophy. 

When I took a  Philosophy class again in California, I had to go see my teacher during his office hours about halfway through the class. I sat down and I told him that I thought I was losing my mind, for real. 

He smiled and said; "then you're doing very well in this class".

Talking about what everyone seems to be thinking lies beyond us, things we can't ever get an answer to, are my favorite topics in the world;

What I am? Am I my brain? Do I have a soul? What does the soul look like? Is it really logic that I as a woman can carry another human being inside my body for 9 months? What is attraction? 

How can the Universe be endless, and at the same time expand? Where in this Universe are all the other living species? Because quite frankly, we are beyond stupid if we believe we are the only planet in this endless universe that has life. 

I also think a lot about life obviously, and the one thing that I continuously come back to; Love. Love for yourself. Love yourself so that you can love others.  I know that a lot of people who read this still just think it's plain bullshit. People seem to think that when all the outer circumstances fall in to place, it will all be good, and they will love themselves. And I respect that, all I can do is try to tell it so that you see where I'm coming from.

It's crystal clear to me, because if you don't love yourself, look down on yourself and find faults with the human being that you are, you will never believe that another person truly loves you because you have an imprinted "knowledge" that you are no good. What happens when you don't believe another person loves you? Jealousy happens. Fear of being betrayed happens. Insecurity happens. No relationship survives that.

What happens when you love yourself and someone else loves you? Double happiness. You have no doubt in your mind. It's all love, and it's all trust. 

As I wrote this now, I went up and changed the headline of this post. Because I realized that I just understood the meaning of the necklace from Japan that my professor at Antioch University gave me that is placed in my hallway in this apartment. 

Her name is Anna Kwong, and she asked me to fill in for her during a class she was teaching at City College since she would be in Japan at the time. I did, and when she got back we met up and she gave me a necklace as a thank you gift. I asked her what the symbol meant, and she told me: Double Happiness. 

Double happiness is to be able to love yourself, and because of that being able to let love in from others. And believe it full heartedly.

Wow.

Why every single day matters

I'm finishing my 4th week of the mindfulness course that I'm currently in. The thing that is so fascinating about this course is that you one day just kind of wake up and realize that you have actually changed.

The one thing that I noticed about 2 weeks ago was mind-blowing. It was a friday, and I was at work. The topic of the day, just like any other friday was "I love that it's friday!" "Wow, isn't it great that it's friday". You get the picture.

I got home that day and thought about the fact that what day it is doesn't matter in my world. At all. Everyday is today. The time of the day is right now. I'm me whenever, what ever time it is or whatever day it is.

It's up to me to live in the moment, and make the most of it, every single day.

I never want to live for the weekend again, because the weekend consists of 2 days, while the entire week is 7 days. Every single day is equally important, because it's a day in my life.
Every day is an opportunity for me to discover new things, see new people, smile at strangers, tell friends, loved ones and family how much I appreciate them, hold the door up for the person behind me, wish the cashier at the supermarket a good day and look them in the eye while  I'm saying "Thank you".

I've noticed that the appreciation that I give out every day is returned to me in so many ways. What is better than making someone else feel good about themselves? It's sooooo easy. Just tell the people in your life what they're good at, and how glad you are that they are the exact way they are.

I'm 31 years old, and if I'm lucky, I will be alive for about 60 more years. If I make sure that every day is just as important as that Saturday when I get to sleep in or go on a fun trip, I will live an extremely happy life.

Because life is now.
Life is this moment.
Life is today.

As of right now, I've completely dropped the "I can't wait for this, or that, or when that happens"
I have goals ahead like everyone else and I have days that I long for more than others, but all that will be when it will be. Right now I just have to live for today and make sure I appreciate it.

Don't wish away your days. Because the reality is; you never know what will happen in the future, but you know what is happening here and now.

The seeds you are planting here and now are the ones that will grow in to beautiful plants in the future. But what do seeds need to grow? They will need nurturing every day. That's why every single day matters.