seize life's opportunities

If you want something badly enough, you will find a way to get it.

Do you believe that?
And, do you find that sentence I just wrote, kind of..hard? I mean, does it sound like you have to work your ass off, go through tons of hardship, wear yourself out, and eventually you will get that reward?

Or, do you read that sentence, and ease in to your chair, relax, and smile because you know that just by setting a goal that's specific enough, life and everything that happens will lead you in the right direction and you will make it, by just believing it will happen?

Henry Ford once said;

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right.”

And I have believed in that quote ever since I read it the first time. It's in our mindset. I believe I can! Then I'm ringt; I can. I don't know how, but I can. 

I happen to be a living, breathing example of someone who believes the first sentence I wrote is true, and that I ease in to it with faith. Life gave me possibilities that I saw in an instant, and I grabbed them. Without having to work my ass off or wear myself out. Let me tell you in what ways I believe that my precise goals in life have helped me achieve what I have always wanted:

I remember one of my first teenage memories, when I was about 13-14 years old and I used to imagine myself in California. Driving a convertible car, parking it alongside of a street, walking in to school. My hair was blowing in the wind, I had sunglasses on, and I was smiling. Big big smile.

When I started working, for real, at 19 years of age, I set a goal for my future self. I would be successful in my career. I would be making more money than the average person, and I would be inspiring others by just being very good at what ever job I would land. I would love what I do, and be the perfect example for others.

When I was 23 years old, I sat in the kitchen area belonging to the store I was working in at the time. It was located in the basement, it was always cold, and I had just finished my lunch. I remember looking at the white ceiling, and I whispered to someone or something, that I want to be published. I want a real book with my name on it.

I moved to California when I was 26. The idea just popped into my head one day when I was browsing the internet, out of the blue, about 8 months before I actually moved. 12 years after I started daydreaming, I was driving a black convertible down the 101. My hair was blowing in the wind and my face was glowing.

Career wise, I have gotten way further than my 19 year old me ever imagined. I'm very successful in my account manager role, plus, I started my own small firm 3 months ago where I write content for customers, and I was hosting a pretty big event in February, where I spoke in front of 80-100 people. I wouldn't say I have worked my ass off, and I love what I do. The possibilities showed, and I grabbed them. 

This spring, in March 2018, I got published. My very own novel, published in a real book. I heard about a book publishing company who was about to release a collection of different novels, so I wrote one. In 90 minutes. 9 years after I sat in that cold kitchen, I got published.

So, my point is. Don't be afraid to set high goals. It doesn't mean you have to know the way, it just means that you have a clear picture of what it is you want. Life will give you opportunities to get there, you don't have to go looking for it and get frustrated because you don't know where to start.

If you have a destination, you will get there. It doesn't matter how or when. Just ease in to the fact, and keep wanting it badly enough. 

And most importantly, don't ever close your eyes to opportunities.

How to find true balance

Balance. We talk about balance in life. I even think I've written about it in this blog. But what is it?

It hit me a couple of weeks ago, that balance is extremely important, not just in how we choose to balance what we choose to do in life, but balance in the way we allow ourselves to lose balance sometimes.

It became clear to me that I've managed to find balance in many areas of my life. For example; I work really hard in periods, and then I chill some days. I workout 3-4 times a week, then I rest the other days. I eat very healthy during the week and allow myself to eat more and other stuff during the weekend. I meditate to keep my mood balanced, to not loose my temper and get stressed. I challenge myself in order to not stay in one place for too long. I see a psychologist in order to sort out my anxiety that I've been struggling with my entire life. I'm very outgoing in some settings, and in others, when I don't have to, I just enjoy being quiet and observe.

I'm really proud of my balanced lifestyle and my strong charachter. BUT; It has become such a routine for me to live this kind of life, that I can completely lose it sometimes if I realize that I've broken these patterns for some time.

Do you get where I'm going to? We need to see the bigger picture. The even bigger one than the bigger picture. We have to allow ourselves to deviate from our "normal behavior" in order to find real balance.

For example, I meditate every morning. When I for some reason don't do that for say 3-4 days, I get angry with myself for not doing it.
I don't eat bread on weekdays. If I for some reason long for a sandwich and eat one on a tuesday, I get angry with myself, for not following my "rules".

See? My life isn't balanced at all if I get upset with myself for not following my balanced life. 

I felt better just thinking about this. I think we all have some kind of rules that we follow in life, and we might get upset with our selves if we don't follow them. But don't. Because it really doesn't matter if your routine differs sometimes. And I'm not saying you should say fuck it to your routine, because it's really important to find routines that make you happy, healthy, motivated etc, but as long as you follow that for the most part, that's what's important!

So focus on what you do well, and don't spend any time thinking about or regretting why you did or didn't do something you weren't/were supposed to. Because today is the first day of the rest of your life. You can't get tomorrow back, so regret and self-loathing is a useless feeling. It's sadly a common feeling, but a completely useless one.

Find balance. Stay balanced. But be balanced enough to allow yourself to lose it sometimes too.

Who gets to decide what's right for you?

I think we all can relate to the thoughts of not feeling worthy sometimes in different aspects of life.

We can lack confidence in our selves and what we are capable of, and we don't think we're good enough, successful enough, beautiful enough,..and the list goes on.

Why is that? I believe it's because of all the unwritten rules of society. 

We are all unique, we all have our own different needs and wants. But, many of us share the same dreams and goals in life. Like finding a partner, starting a family, excel careerwise, living a healthy life etc. These goals have somehow managed to become "norms" in our society, and in some ways our society have also put "age/time limits" and "right and wrong labels" on these goals.

The important thing to always remember, is that even though we may share some goals in life, we are still very different individuals who walk on this earth;

-What is important in a partner for me, will not be the same things that are important in a partner for you. 

-Starting a family for one person might mean having just one baby or no babies because my partner in life is all I need and together we are a family. Staring a family for another person might mean having 4 babies, one dog and 2 rabbits.

-Exelling at work might mean becoming a successful CEO for one person, and excelling at work for someone else could mean keeping the fridge super clean at their stand at the local fishmarket.

-Living a healthy life can be working out 6 days a week and be a vegetarian, or it could just as well mean meditating once a day and try to drink more water. 

So even though we might share some goals, it doesn't mean that we all want it at the same time, or that we want the exact same things. That would be crazy! Thank God we are all different...right?

So, it's up to US to decide what is right for us. No one else knows what's best for you except you. But the problem is that the norms of our society is imprinted in our minds wether we like it or not. So the problematic lies in that many of us actually forget what we want and need and what's best for us, because we think we believe that the norms of society is what's right.

So, I think it's important to figure out what's right for us. Or what feels right.

-Who has the right to tell you that by the age for 35 you should have kids? You might not even want kids.

-Who has the right to tell you what successful is? Successful for you might mean just getting out of bed, and that's a small win every day.

-Who has the right to tell you that you have to study 4 years after high school? You might want to be a freelancing writer.

-Who has the right to tell you that if you are single by a certain age, you should be pitied? F**k that, you will stay single for as long as it takes, until you find the right person and don't settle for less.

You are worthy and absolutely good enough. If we always look for more (based on the unwritten rules) and think that what we are and have right now is not good enough, ask yourself: who is to decide this for me but me? 

My mantra is to always do everything in my power to become the best version of me based on what I want and what's right for me.

Because you can always work on improving yourself, for you and not for the sake of our society.