What matters most in life.

I have had a few super productive mornings this week and this one certainly's one of them. Got up at 5.40 am, excited to get up (crazy) and I took the car down to the gym. Worked out for about an hour before I went home to do some HW, and then I went down to school to meet with my advisor. I now know what my very last quarter at Antioch will look like, and I am so so soooo excited! I'm graduating September 10th! I seriously can't believe it's so close. I've been busting my ass off for almost 4 years..

Anyways, I feel amazing right now (high on coffee), and I felt the urge to write about something that's been a very important part of me at least this past year; reducing dangerous stress. 
I used to be so stressed out. I was in and out of the hospital a year and a half ago because of it, since my blood pressure (which is usually very low) hit the roof. My doctor gave me muscle tension relief pills because every single muscle in my body was so tense. Stress has more or less been a part of my life causing both anxiety and sickness since I was in my early 20's.

This quarter, I'm in a class that's called Global Perspective on Stress. It scares the hell out of me because the readings connect basically all sort of cancer forms to stress, but it's also reassuring me that everything that I've done for myself this past year is extremely helpful. I already knew, of course, since I never stress out the way I used to anymore, but I need other people to know more about this because it can potentially save you from getting severely ill.

Dangerous stress is not external, it's internal. It's the one that keeps you up at night, worrying, visualizing the worst case scenarios etc. All the stuff you think you have to do. 
The book I'm reading right now called "When the body says No" show statistic evidence that people who develop cancer are very often the people who can't say no, and who worry about what others think of them, and who never wants to let anyone down.  This is a very dangerous form of internal stress.

This is what I have to say about it, and what I have learned through my own experience; If you want to be a supportive, strong person, who can be there for the people you love, the first thing you have to do, is work on yourself. Love yourself completely, and love yourself to the extent that you know you are doing your very best at work, that you alone are not responsible for the entire company, and don't picture the list of all the "have to do's" in your head when you go to sleep. Because if you keep prioritizing other people and things, putting your own wellbeing aside, you will break down.
Take time to be with you, work on you, love every part of you, complement yourself, be grateful for everything you have.

Make sure that you know what really matters in life. Don't make the mistake of getting yourself sick before you figure out that family, friends and love comes before working 12 hours a day to please a boss that won't thank you.
Stop for a second, appreciate your home, your spouse, your mom, your dad, siblings, pet, friends, the stranger who smiled at you and made you smile.

Take a deep breath, and let go of the mental pictures you have in your mind of all the things that could go wrong in life, and all the things you worry about not having the time to do.

Be you and do your best, that's all you can do. And that is enough.