d o n e. with everything.

I'm sitting in bed, covered in layers of clothes under my blanket, hugging my pillow with my left arm. The rain is pouring outside and it's super windy. My ears are filled with "wait" by M83, and I'm feeling...done.

I'm done with school yes, I finished yesterday and it feels so good! But I'm done with basically everything. I'm just done trying. I just want to be.

Sorry, I'm just so exhausted right now. School is over and I have time to relax. This year has been so turbulent. I haven't been able to process any emotions at all.
Until I do, and that's when it hits you.

I was on my way home from doing groceries the other day, feeling pretty stressed out and all I could think about was how I needed a hug. Not from anyone, but from the last person I should want hugging me. I haven't felt that in a very long time. I don't want anything from him anymore, but a long hug.
Because I need to know if he's ok, and that despite the fact that he did what he did, I will never hold any grudges. I just need those eyes to be filled with the same spark I saw this spring. I don't want to see the sadness anymore, that I saw again yesterday. I can't stand it.

I want people to be happy.
I want positive vibes.


Anyways, I'm not just gonna be all emotional and deep on you guys.
I am actually excited about a lot of things. A 3 week break, including a busy weekend (which is Louise's very last weekend in SB) that will be crazy! We are going to the casino tomorrow to get rich, and bring home a car. Saturday night will be the big goodbye party, and I'm just hoping I will be able to have a good time and not cry in her arms all night..
After that we have 4 days together to just take walks, sit on our couch and talk the four of us like we do almost every night. Do you have any idea how lucky I am to live with these girls?


I am so excited about Sweden too, I can't believe I'm going home in a week! Home, home, home. My family, my nephew, my niece, my friends, malaren outside of my window as I wake up in the mornings, chai latte at espresso house, christmas eve...and much more. I will make sure to make the most out of every single second those 12 days in Sweden.

Time to tuck in and watch some series before I fall asleep.
Have a wonderful day/night everyone, and remember to be kind. Just..be kind, and think about what effect your actions might have.