3 am confessions

The plane from Copenhagen hit ground at 8.20 pm on Sunday night. Like every other time I enter Swedish ground and step foot in my parents apartment, I leave Santa Barbara Malena behind and focus on my Sweden life, although there's something different this time. A strong feeling of not belonging.
I love seeing my family, but I don't belong here. I feel...empty. Because these are my roots, my flesh and blood, my life for 25 years was here. But, my life for the past 3 years has been in California.

I don't feel like I belong 100% in California either, because I'm a foreigner, and I always will be even if I decide to live the rest of my life there. There's this feeling of being slightly different, and I'm not talking about the fact that there's a foreign accent when I speak, but it's the way I am. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, at all, I'm just different.

So where do I go from September 2015 when I have my BA in Business and Entrepreneurship?
Do I stay and work? Most likely.

I just sit here at 3.11 am, feeling a bit confused and lost. Jetlagged obviously, because I basically slept between 3 pm and 11.30 pm, and have been awake since. Sick too. I think my little baby niece gave me her cold, but it was totally worth it, cuddling with her. Angel face.

I look forward to Saturday a lot now though, when I will see the faces of my best friends in Sweden! That was supposed to happen tonight, but since I didn't feel well, I decided to rest and hopefully feel batter tomorrow (or, yes, today).

I'll try to get some sleep now. Love you all. I'll be in Sweden until January 3rd.