Getting to know yourself

To me, there's nothing more rewarding than getting to know myself and something that I'm proud of is that I recently started to make confessions to myself.

I do, because there are some things that I think we all think or feel sometimes that we're not super proud of. So instead of trying to just get rid of the feeling, panicking a little, shake my head and think "I'm not like that, I don't feel like that", I literally stop, and I reflect.  Yes, I'm actually feeling like this. Fuck, what should I do? Or, do I need to take action or is it just OK to feel like this?
Is the feeling valid? Where did it come from? Is it really based on facts or did I create something in my mind?

Very often, or no, 10 times out of 10, it comes from sh*t I've made up from scratch in my all so imaginary brain. I know that my mind is capable of creating physical pain in my body, I've experienced that one too many times now. I have written about how strong I've become and that stress or anxiety will never ever be allowed to ruin my wellbeing again.

Well, guess what. It happened. But. BUT, that doesn't mean that stress is here to stay, or that I will fall back in to some out of control state of mind. No. I have hundreds of lessons that I've learned that come well in handy now. I've learned all of them on this lifelong journey of getting to know me.

There are other situations where I do the same thing. I reflect on a feeling and come up with the same conclusion time and time again; My thoughts are like wild horses sometimes. But it's ok. It really is. I know who I am, and I know my reactions in some situations. The important thing is to not act on impuls to that reaction, and to reflect (is this really real?), because if not, it might end up hurting someone else or yourself.

Just because your reality is crystal clear to you, it doesn't mean other people will know your every thought. Think about it, the only way to try to get someone to understand you is to communicate. Someone else won't understand when you get back after you've reflected, saying "I didn't mean that, I'm not like that". Because yes, you ARE like that, but you don't have to act on it. Stop and think about it before. My advice to everyone is to confess to yourself that you do have feelings that you're not proud of, and that you know they're in your head, and that you want to learn how to deal with them. Because getting to know yourself and make these confessions is the first step to TRULY accepting who you are. When you get to know you, it will be so much easier to communicate with others, and to be honest.

No one is perfect. You can't strive for perfect, but you can learn from past lessons. You can learn how to communicate better.  With others, but also; with yourself. By making confessions.