One promise for 2016.

It's a new year in 3 days.
Usually, I'm excited about this time because it means I can "start over" with a brand new year.
I've changed my mind about that.


First of all; I'm a visual thinker, so I see the year as 2 columns that run diagonally next to each other, January/June in the first one, and July-December in the second one. I see weeks (monday-sunday) as a capital D, only it's reversed. The days all have different colors too. Monday is white, Tuesday is grey, wednesday is yellow/orange, thursday is grey, friday is green, saturday is red and sunday is black. The hours of the day look like a mountain, it's uphill until noon, but after that it's downhill until midnight when it starts moving uphill again.

So when I need to let something go, I visualize it behind my back. I put it in an imaginary storage and I lock it up with the biggest lock, thinking I can just leave it there. This rarely works. As soon a a thought pops up in my head that I have locked up, I panic a little and I put it back in the storage.

This is also the reason why I have always loved when a new year begins, because that means starting over. I used to believe that with a new year or month, I get that closure and I can forget everything in that storage once and for all. Although, there's a big problem with this. What happens when I start over and the thoughts or feelings I've put behind me from the past year start haunting me? I get disappointed. It's the same with new years resolutions that I stopped making years ago.

So this year, I won't start over. I won't leave anything behind, I won't lock up any thoughts, feelings or people in my storage. Because locking them up means keeping them, that's the whole thing! If I just keep feeling and thinking, keep it around me, everything will be processed in its own time and it will leave me when I'm ready to let it go.

What I will do though, that I promise myself, is to talk to the mirror every day. Affirmations is the simplest thing to do, yet not a lot of people believe in the power of them. I am one of those who do, and I will talk to myself and give myself pep talks every morning.
Because the thing that affirmations do, is that they change the way you see yourself. To look at yourself with kindness and love, and to believe in yourself is crucial in order to be happy. We all encourage the people we love to be great and we know they have it in them, so we give advice, support and lovebomb them when they are feeling down. Talking to the mirror is doing the exact same thing, only..it's giving yourself the same support.

The new year is coming, but this time I'll just keep moving towards personal growth. I won't let 2015 go, because all the years that have passed since 1985 has taken me to this point and I can't change a thing. I don't need closures, because closures means more or less forcing yourself to let go. Let go when you're ready. Life is not made up by days or years, it's just..a timeline. One timeline.

My only promise to myself from now on, is to make sure that I put myself and my wellbeing first during my timeline. Not because I'm selfish, but the exact opposite. It's when you feel amazing that you can be supportive and love unconditionally. I want to be able to give that to the people I care about, so I promise myself to support myself every single day.


Instead of Happy New Year, I wish you all a happy continuos moving forward on your timeline.