Life lessons.

I'm thinking about acting on impulse and our self-control. All of us have probably acted on impulse and said or done things that we regret afterwards. You are in a stage of frustration and anger, and you spit out mean words or act crazy in general. This is all a matter of self-control.

I used to do this when I was younger. I got so caught up in frustration that all I needed was a reaction from the other person who according to me had put me in that emotional stage. I always regretted it, and was ashamed of my behavior after a while. The thing is..this behavior can not be justified afterwards. You can't take it back and make it undone. You can apologize, but the damage is done.

What my teacher talked about in my class yesterday was that people who want to change their impulsive behavior are told to do the complete opposite of what they usually do in these situations. To me, that sounds like a very hard thing to do, so what worked for me when I started to learn about my impulsive behavior was to write all my thoughts down. Write the text or the e-mail to this person, but send it to yourself! Go back and read it again an hour later, and make sure to thank yourself for
not sending it. Because trust me, you will.
Have enough respect for yourself that you won't allow yourself to do stupid things you'll end up regretting. I know it's way easier said than done, but hopefully this will plant a seed in your brain.

Another thing that I've been thinking about is relationships. I am a firm believer of constant maintenance, and to keep working towards a truly fulfilling relationship forever. So many people show their best sides, throw affection at each other and make efforts in the beginning of a relationship, but stop when they feel settled in the relationship. What happens to them when the going gets tough?

I believe in a 100% solid ground, continuos efforts and affection throughout life, to create a huge endless emotional account that will last through all the rough paths. You will have to be there for your partner and be his/her support system sometimes in life, as well as you need to be able to count on your spouse to be your support system as well. This will not be a burden. It will be given freely because to me, that is what love is about; a strong enough bond/friendship/love that will grow stronger through bad times, not let them break the entire relationship because it lacks a solid ground.

All of this ties back to my main thread through all my writings in this blog; self love. You won't be able to maintain a healthy relationship or control your impulses if you don't have a solid ground within yourself.

Don't look for reassurance in others, or expect someone to fix you. Trust this almost 30 year old, it won't work.