Pay it forward

I've been thinking about how we can practice "paying it forward" in order to feel happier in life.

We are so used to following certain patterns in life in order to be successful, and with financial and work related success comes happiness, right? Uh, no. I don't think so. Is for example money, a good title, material things, status cars, stressful days things that makes us happy? Or, could it be loving relationships, friendships, helping others, your health, being present, grateful and doing things for yourself things that makes us happy?

I was listening to a podcast the other day and a swedish man who is a very famous lecturer here, said that; I had all the things you are "supposed to" have; I was a millionaire, I had a beautiful woman by my side, I had fame, and I got recognized walking down the streets. And I have never been so miserable and unhappy.
Because those things were just a cover, and things he thought he needed in order to be happy and complete. But he never listened to his real needs.
He sums up his point by saying that if you ask anyone what really matters in life, everyone will say things like; my children, my husband/wife, my health, being with the people I love.

We are all different, and some of us will always care more about the status stuff and having a lot of money, and that's fine. Although, I really believe that all of us can practice "paying it forward" to feel better in life;

In relationships, love feeds on love. You have to give in order to receive love. Therefor, it's very important to pay the love forward and back as you receive it, and not get stuck in only receiving. Show, and be grateful for the love you receive, and give back, because by doing that you will never ever take love for granted. And when you give your spouse love, it will fill them up, and they will go about their days feeling good, and give positive energy to the people they meet.

Same thing goes with friendships, you have to be cautious and keep the friendship in the loving zone. Call or text one of your friends just and tell them what you appreciate about them, I promise you that it will make their day, AND it will make your day as well! Because when we give love, it comes back to us tenfold. Try it, because when you make them happy, they will be able to make others in their surroundings happy by paying their happiness forward.

When you take care of yourself and your health, I am not just talking about working out. Try meditating, light a candle and look at it for a few minutes just to be present, take a walk where you've never walked before to see new things for the first time, and pay your new experiences forward. Not by using social media and show followers that you are "present". Bring a friend on that walk, share what you see, meditate with someone or share the new realization you made with someone. Pay knowledge forward.

I think the ability to be humble is an important key in life. To be able to be proud and talk about ones accomplishments, but to never do it in a way that makes others feel bad. There's a fine line between egocentric bragging and to be proud with humbleness.
Talk about what you are proud of with the intent to inspire others, and pay it forward. Not in order to tell eberyone that you're the best.

When you're happy and content, share it. It's not like happiness only comes in a certain dose that you have to hold on to with dear life, it actually grows when you share it.

Share what you have. Pay it forward, and you will get it back tenfold or more. Trust me.

From the bottom of my heart; Thank You

On monday, october 16th, I took place in front of my colleagues at Mynewsdesk, and spoke openly and without shame, about my history of anxiety, depression and my many many panic attacks.

I only spoke for about 15-20 minutes, and afterwords, I got about 15 hugs from different coworkers, and so many "Thank you for sharing" comments. As I sat down at my computer, so many comments rolled in from co workers who had listened, who thanked me and who said that they recognize themselves in so many things, and that it's so important to speak up about these things because that shows others who also suffer that they are not alone.

I posted a status on LinkedIn, about my little speech, and that I spoke because I see a desperate need for something to change. The first step is to just talk about it, to show everyone else that it happened to me, it is still happening to me, and that I am a living proof that you can find ways to live with your anxiety and make your way out of the darkness.
My post on LinkedIn started trending and I am right now at 177 likes and 17 comments, most of these from people that I am not in contact with on LinkedIn. My post has reached over 12000 people and one comment just rolled in 5 minutes ago, so it's still reaching new people.

I am so beyond words. I am SO grateful to everyone who hit "like" and/or left a comment so that my post is shown to your group of contacts on LinkedIn.
I could never imagine that it would start spreading the way it did but I'm so happy about it, because that means that I am touching on a VERY important matter, that so many people can relate to.

I have talked about my anxiety in my blog, and I always open up completely when people come to talk to me, and I have never ever felt an ounce of shame. Ever.

I have heard people say that I'm brave when I'm opening up, and that I am strong because I talk about it so openly. I am extremely humble in what I'm about to write now, but I actually don't understand the part where I'm brave and strong, because to me, it's crystal clear and a a matter of course. I don't see myself as brave or strong, I see it as my obvious duty.

I have gotten the proof I need now in order to continue my own little journey to reach new people. I have dreamt about talking about this openly infront of new crowds for years, and I think it's about to really happen. I know that I am doing something big, because if I can reach out to just one person who can admit to him or herself that there's a negative stress present in their life, and start working on making a change, I have done plenty.

The first step to making a change is to become aware. And how to we become aware? By talking about it.

How my anxiety completes me

For a couple of months now, I have been working on myself a bit more than I usually do.
I have been speaking to someone, since I have felt the urge to take my development one step further.

For anyone who knows me and have read this blog, you know that I have from suffered panic attacks and dealt with anxiety. The fact is though, that it shouldn't say; "dealt with" it should say "is dealing with".

I have suffered from anxiety my entire life. From a very early age, I have been a worried soul. I feared that my family would leave me, I thought about death and the meaning of life, I feared losing loved ones and friends, and I have always suffered from this form of anxiety that comes out of the blue and you have absolutely no idea where it came from.

The thing that I learned when I was about 22, is that when someone is dealing with anxiety like mine, it always finds a way out, one way or another.
One period in my life, I feared death every single day. When that disappeared, I started doubting my existence. When I worked that away, my job gave me the worst anxiety, and when that past, I started seeing food as the enemy and the anxiety took its form in eating disorders.

See, I always wanted to feel like I could control my anxiety, and every time I felt it, I could just do something to make it go away. Like change jobs, eating less, workout more, travel...whatever.

But. My anxiety will always be a part of me.

I have been talking to so many people, about how I got past the panic attacks, and the fear of death and fear of public speaking and so on, and I DID. I am a strong person, I'm smart, talented, inspiring, hard working, a role model, a happy person with my feet on the ground. But, I will have to live with the anxiety and the way it  choses to take its form my entire life. I have some parts of me that I have been ashamed of, for real. But I have come to realise now that I can't be embarrassed of parts of me that are just that; parts of ME. Who would I be without my anxiety? Seriously. Nowadays, I'm kinda proud of it, because it gives me more depth.

When I tell people that I have been through extreme fear, suffered panic attacks and suffered by sickness due to stress, I usually get this: "I never thought YOU of all people had been though that, you are so stable", or something like that.
It took me some hard work and some true soul searching to get where I am today and I'm not nearly done.

I love inspiring people that you can change, that you can live a positive life and that you have the power to do things you thought you never could, because you can. But you can never completely erase something that is a part of you, a part of your DNA.

You should have goals in life, to make you move forward in all aspects; career, relationships, training, learning, traveling...

I have such goals to, but the most important goal for me will always be to get to know myself in such a way that it makes me understand other people better. I will have to mirror what I want to achieve from others. Open up when I have something that's weighing me down, to make other people in my life feel like they can open up to me. Listen to others, so that i will feel heard. Love others as hard as I can, so that they can love me back. Speak only good about others, so that others speak only good things about me.

I am me. No one else. I am me, with all my qualities and all my "darker sides". They're  parts of me that makes me complete. We have bright colors in this world, and we also have darker colors in this world. For a reason. We need them all, because that's the entire spectrum.

That's why my anxiety and my fears completes the circle, why they complete ME.
The parts of us that are the hardest ones to accept should't be our enemies, they should be our source of willpower. Willpower to work harder on our good qualities, in order for us to be better human beings. They will be there, but it's up to us how much control we let them have over us.