The deepest shit I ever wrote

When I was in philosophy class at city college in SB, I felt like I finally had a way of organizing my thoughts. That class didn't help me by giving me answers to the questions I have been asking myself my entire life, but it helped me by realizing that there are others who think like I do.

This might get deep, so bare with me, and this might not make sense to some of you, but it may make complete sense to some.

I want to ask you a question; Who are you?

Not you name, your occupation, your skin or hair color, what country you were born in, what kind of food you like etc, but the you that you are inside.
Would you say that you are your thoughts? Are you made out of flesh, bone, organs and a brain? And the you that you are is actually your mind?
Are you your thoughts? Your brain?

I don't believe that. I believe that we are something more. Something completely not tangible. Because think about this; you are able to control your thoughts, right? You can decide to think about the sunset, or to imagine that you are running through the forest for example. What is it in you that can control your thoughts? If you ARE your mind, and your thoughts, then wouldn't you just go with everything you think?

I also believe that you all can relate to the scenario when you feel something, maybe something that you are scared of. You might automatically think "I can't do it, I'm so scared". Then there's like another dimension of you who tells you that "Yes, you CAN do it! Stop being so dramatic. Just do it".
Are these two really both you? Or does one of these statements come from the real you, and the other one from experiences that have been kept and created automatically in your brain from earlier experiences?

It's so incredibly hard to try to explain this, but I believe there is something in us that are our being. The one we get in touch with when we meditate and shut down every single thought in our brain.
When we are in a deep meditative state, we don't move our bodies, and we don't have any thoughts.
But we are still there. More there than ever before. We are so present, and we feel at peace.

What is that?

To me, there's no other explanation than that the one we get in touch with on such a deep level is the one we are. Our thoughts are created by experiences and our unconscious mind absorbs experiences and automatically create its own truths.

With that said, I want to pick up the red thread that I keep coming back to in this blog. The one we are, the one within, can identify this, control and change the thoughts and by doing that change the way we chose to live our lives. 

"Where attention goes, energy flows". If you are scared of bees, you will see them everywhere. People will wonder how the hell there can be so many bees around you at the beach when they are usually never there. If you focus all your attention on what can go wrong during a presentation, that will come true, and you will say "I KNEW that would happen!"

When past experiences creates patterns in your mind, and your attention is focused on the negatives, you will sure as hell find negatives. You will be completely unable to live in the now and enjoy what you have, because you will be more focused on what could go wrong in the future. And you know what? That will probably happen.

Life is complicated. Because we all have a body that everyone can see, and a way of behaving that causes people around us to get a sense of who we are. But we also have that one on the inside, who doesn't show, but who struggles to stay alive on the inside, and battles our thoughts every day.

I can get disappointed sometimes, because I want to understand people on a much deeper level. Sometimes I'm not interested in seeing the way you dress, or talk to you about the latest TV-shows, or listen to you complain about the weather or your work.

In 99 cases out of 100, I want to understand why the dark scares you, why you don't like to ride the elevator, why those bees scare the crap out of you, why you love the ocean so much, why you don't want to speak in front of crowds, or where your mind goes when you stare out in the open air and you touch your face.

Who are you? Why do you feel the way do do? Do you really feel those things, or do your thoughts tell you that you feel that way? Is there some being inside you who can change the negative patterns of thoughts that your mind created in order to allow you to keep developing as a human being?

I want to believe that we all have the power to make our own changes, and make our own choices. I want to believe that we know what is right and what is wrong, here and now. Life changes, we all know that, but if we can just stick to what our being knows is right in the now and not let thoughts or fear of the future hold us back, I truly believe that would make us happier.