You don't have to lose what you've got to know what you had

A phrase a lot of us know is: "You don't know what you've got til it's gone".
Is that true? I don't believe so.

Because this week, I was about to throw something away that means a lot to me, that I love, and that has been a part of my life for 4 years now. I'm talking about yoga.

When I started doing yoga, something happened in me. I discovered meditation right after starting my yoga practice, and they go hand in hand. At least for me.
I discovered a new calm, a new way of thinking, and my body had never ever felt so..good. I felt healthy, strong, calm. I felt more positive, uplifted and I got in touch with my inner me in a new way.

I meditated and did yoga every morning back in the U.S. and when I moved back home, I tried to keep it going but it wasn't the same. In my apartment where I live now, I don't have the actual space I need to be able to do the practice. I have to move tables and rugs to be able to fit my mat.

So I started doing it less and less. But I missed it so much and I needed it. So one day, this january when I sat at LAX waiting for my flight, I knew that I had to sign up for a yoga teacher training program. And I did! 200 hour training starting this september. It felt so right.

By doing that though, I went from doing yoga about 2-3 times a week to about 1 time a week. Because my mind kept telling me that "You will do yoga every damn day starting this september so you don't have to do it that much now".

THAT was the mistake. Because when you don't value and care about something that you know you love, it starts to slip away. You start to forget why you loved it so much. Five days ago, I wrote the instructor who's in charge of the training program, and asked her if I could withdraw.

I actually debated dropping the dream of becoming a yoga instructor. Just because I hadn't nurtured what I loved.
I got a response that yes, I could drop the class, but she suggested that I would start the one year training starting in january instead.

I sat on the couch, wrote back that I would think about it. Got up, moved my table, the chair, and the rug. Rolled out my blue mat and started. I did about 30 minutes of yoga and almost cried afterwards. This is what I love! I meditated, went to bed, and the morning after I wrote back that I will start the training this january.

I have done yoga every day since this happened and just finished a 30 minute session. I know why I love it, I know how good it is for me, I know that I need it in my life. I just have to keep nurture, appreciate it and just do it.

So, I don't believe you have to actually lose what you've got to know what you had. I believe you can chose to see what you have and nurture it. Remember why you chose the way you did in the first place. Because I don't believe in the phrase "The grass is always greener on the other side" either. I believe "the grass is greener where you water it".