I registered for a writing course during a weekend at a university here in Stockholm, I signed up for a 6 week online course that's called "Use your potential" and the day after I had a talk with one of my soul sisters back in California, I got offered an 8 week mindfulness class FOR FREE from a company that works with educating people in mindfulness.
It all feels amazing, and the feeling of knowing that I'm doing all this and investing this time solely for myself and no one else is the best feeling ever.
I just took part of the second lesson in the potential class and I'm left sitting on the couch staring out in to the open.
I realized that I want so many things in life, but the way I act is sometimes holding me back. Or, let me rephrase; not so much the way I act, but the way I automatically think. The thoughts that are buried in my mind that have created patterns my entire life are so easy to just fall back into.
Why is it that we have a tendency to want to feel miserable? You think I'm really stupid writing that just now don't you? But seriously, it's like it's easier for us to just think that everything and everyone is against us, and let negative thoughts take over. We can create stories in our heads and believe they are true, we can even feel that it's true because our made up thoughts have convinced us.
Shouldn't it be just as easy to come up with wonderful, happy, awesome stories in our heads and believe them? Feel that they are real, the same way we think the negative stuff is real? Imagine the energy we would radiate if we did that.
Why is it that we choose miserable?
We have the power to choose, but why is it so much harder to believe in positivity? Are humans that damaged? Why is it that we seem to be programmed to fall back into negative patterns?
I want nothing else but to break free from negativity entirely. I want to be able to really focus on all the good things I have in my life and treasure it all. This is why I make active choices now, and take all these classes to be able to strengthen my brain.
It must be possible to erase the old negative patterns in our minds, and just thinking about it makes me feel liberated.
Our own thoughts are usually our own worst enemy, but I'm certain that with the right tools, the person we truly are will be able to kick those bastard thoughts to the ground and plant seeds of love instead.
